Be Strong

Its one after the other and patience in me is going for a toss. I hope I have it in me to sustain what I am going through. Finding it difficult for the simple reason that I never foreseen things nor i thought about it. All these are because of trusting too much on people. They have literally stabbed me from back on both the occasions. Seems like after all i can't ignore this blog :)

Riding

More than driving, the good part of biking is sitting at back seat and observing :)

I have observed of late that in driving the best thing i enjoy is sitting and doing nothing, but just going through your motions

Luckily, all my friends never allowed me to drive most of the times as they loved driving :) And i guess i would be on the top list if ever there was competition of who sat at back more number of hours :P

I miss pulsar gang :P but now a days i am in love with unicorn too :)

Happy Riding and more importantly Happy Night Riding :)

Finally got acclimatised to Hyderabad and found balance which i was looking for

New friends, books and good stories helping the cause too :)

Realized how stubborn I could be in this very touch time :P and also the engagement and marriages of friends are helping me :) (I just love gatherings)

As a matter of fact some tough decisions to be made by the end of this week and have no clue of what would be the outcome.

So all in all A happyyyy happyyyy Welcome to Hyderabad :)

Change

Things are changing and for a better cause
The value of freedom and being alone is real priceless and didn't realized its importance until these 3 months. But again the choice was mine and I also do enjoy when everyone in the family kind of look up to me for taking decisions.

Also its a matter of fact that u change according to the city u leave in.

So i am back gaming, walking, and enjoying Car driving.

Now need to get back to work and should take care of health :)

A busy one month for bondam the laddu :P ;)

Energy!!!

It just took one good conversation for me to understood what went wrong all these days.
Adding to that a movie of my taste which has given me loads of energy!!!!
So,Back on track and riding high!!

Walk in the woods!!!

It doesn't matter what the world looks like
A walk in the woods would do

Its that time of year where the chill rainy and winter air streams through and you forget all the things happening around you

Sometimes its better just being alone, being alone with you :)

Travelling

Miss the train travelling that i used to do...
Even small train journeys used to be so refreshing
And occasional visit to Hyderabad was always used to be fun...

Though i am enjoying the bike ride these days which i always cherished, feel like i am missing the train journey :)

Its been two months since i have moved out except few friends marriages, i need a break :)

Araku, Papikondalu,Nagarjunasagar, Srisailam, are in the list....
Hope atleast i could be able to cover one the coming month with 3 idiots :)

Run

Realised what it feels to be free during these three days
And it was me who was neglecting all the time,
But the fact remains that it just started and i should keep improving!!!!

Its quite challenging but nothing is impossible :)

All the best Santu mere yaar :)

Orange!!!

Life full of color and have learn quite a bit about an Orange yesterday!!

Each and every word of "I am there with you","I love you" etc.. for life long is a true fold lie that people feel comfortable to live with. Nothing in this world can be done repeatedly for life long. There are certain interests, behaviors, attitude which keeps on changing which makes it difficult to live along. But, certain people make it look as if nothing changed and start speaking lies to make it look even.

And we people are used to this, we are comfortable in the world of lies.

On the other side there are few people who speak truth and break up the emotional part, but at the end of day they are left with only reasons and nothing more.

This is where development is necessary, instead of lies and reasons there needs to be an improvement and extra effort put in to improve the personality.
And practicing this is as tough a task as any.

Relax

In quite relax state for last few days
Most of things are coming into place and getting used to environment which i have not been used to
And its totally a different side of what i was in Mumbai,
All the sweetness, excitement is getting disappeared and being in a calm state of mind.
Don't know whether i have enough patience to be that calm,
But a different exercise and going on well

Own

After a long wait, got back the house papers!!!!
There is no one more happier than Amma, the house was her dream all the way and she did it all alone!!!
The Marriage Anniversary gift came a bit early!!!

Lonliness!!!!

Never felt this lonely in my life with so many people around me
Feeling restlessness and those who understand me are far away from me and busy with their work
The distance though i never thought would matter is finally taking its stand!!!

Now, its back to where it all began....need to find some good movies and series :)

Imaginary World!!

Its the imaginary world that i sometimes live in, imagining wild makes me feel good and i am really not concerned about its happening. Its the place where nothing hurts me and none to comment, it just goes the way i imagine, just perfect. The world is all mine and there isn't anything that i am worried of in this world.

Looping

Feeling things before i could even feel it,
As if it has happened before
Experiencing things before i even do it,
As if i knew well in advance what's in store for me

May be i am looping around instead of following straight line,
The track seems to be vanished
Find out - and stop following 0

Movies

There are many ways to learn, but for me movies is the main knowledge base.Movies brings some energy and kind of enthusiasm which i dont find easily with others. They are more of an eye opener and it changes the pattern of thinking. Its more of a passion to me :)
I remember days when i used to go to theatre well before the show so that i dont miss even the promos of movies

In the last few years i changed my style of watching movies instead of watching every film and then getting disappointed i now follow two simple steps.
To watch english movies i check up the review and rating system and for hindi and telugu movies i just go by the names of the movies and promos

Today for the first time someone said to me that i am great and they like my enthusiasm for movies :)

Happiness

Happiness is something which I am responsible and others just play a role in it.
Being happy is what it matters and for that its necessary to know what instead of who.

Fighting

Its been lately that i have started fighting and on my way i have already been beaten to death many times, but this time i am not going to give up any hope. Though even my track record shows that i am a bad fighter there is always a position for the fighter at end of day and i shouldn't be any different.

Numbers :)

It was not cricket match which used to interest me when i first started watching cricket.....it was more to do with the numbers .....I used to think of it as more of a numbers game and used to do all sorts of analysis by writing each ball by ball update on a book which i used to maintain specifically for cricket match......even today the majority of work i do i relate to numbers and in someway it works out ......it took me quite a while to understand as why i like certain things and now when i look back at all my favorite things , there are numbers and only numbers in it all the way !!!

Feels Good !!

I am totally a different kind of a person when i am with someone i love, someone i admire....there is totally a different mindset and i could see and feel those incidents and i am sure that the other person feels the same....it feels as if i am pumped with tons of energy from nowhere ....these are certain things which makes me feel good and helps me to go further ahead :)

Reserved----Overcome
Shyness---Overcome
Short-temper----Almost all overcome
Communication-----Lots to improve upon
Effort-----Still bad at giving my 100%
Expressing myself------not up to the mark but quite happy with improvement :)
Writing----Overcome
Unnecessary questions and talks------haven't stopped asking yet(improving)
Thinking capabilities------Should Improve a lot

Tough Days !!!

Last month has been one of toughest months .....too many things happening at same time and that too emotional things .....ufff it drains brain out thinking on those terms......the fact that i am slowly having an impact of whats happening , i need to act quickly enough to ensure myself back to normal

My Journey !!!!!

Less than a month to go.....time is running and i am still doing the basics .....i don't know whether i would be able to keep up the pace or not.....whether i would be able to do it or not ....all my fitness and energy levels need to be at its best and even my health is some sort of concern :(.....i knew that its going to be in my list of memorable experiences and i would face hell of a time but come what may i am going to overcome all odds at all costs and do this trip :)

Focus of interest !

All of a sudden my focus of interest have changed in the past few days ....there is something much more important that i need to do and again this is something which i haven't done before but seems like that i am pretty good at this :)

v thought

Even if every reason to exist in the world ceases, I would still love to see how does it feel like getting something from V ....wonder how long does it take ;) :P

గురు బ్రహ్మా గురు విష్ణు గురు దేవో మహేశ్వర
గురు సాక్షాత్ పరబ్రహ్మ తస్మై శ్ర్రీ గురవే నమః

Big Guns are back !!!

It took 6 months for one and 18 months for other to be back on track.....nothing seems to be changed and they haven't disappointed me by any means :)

Clarification !!

Now a days i am trying to discover myself and i ended up with certain clarification on two most important questions.....questions which truly simplifies life....

What I like to do ---- this would be something i would do lifetime even during my happy,sad,tough whatever the situation may be

What I have to do ----this would be something that i will do because i am not of this kind but i have to do

Surprises !!!!

Surprises are always good and as always people say it helps us to grow but i dont know how far does this surprise lets me grow....infact i wonder whether this was a surprise at all bcoz i was involved in it from begining .......now, i face a question did i expected anything of this sort somewhere round the corner??? or was i totally pure in helping out whom i taught was no different from others and i guess i was pure enough......but who cares this bloody shit because it happened finally and i turned up with no answer :(

Questions ???

Last year i ended up with so many questions for which i dont have any clue ......before that too there were questions but questions for which i knew answers......all this change has something to do with my way of thinking and looking at things.... and let me tell finding answers for these questions never seems to be easy :)

Back on track !!!

The past few days have been satisfying enough considering what I have been going through last few weeks and even more than that its the confidence that's building up in me.

Finally,finding some sort of rhythm and needs to keep it going and this time around I should take care that I dont over enjoy my success

Do I have Courage To pull my own leg???????

Since last two to there weeks there is only Maths that’s going around me all the time. This was the same situation that I was going through some time ago and at that time I didn’t have the knowledge of what’s around me and I didn't took any decision. So, that made me spent 4 years in the traditional mode, doing little more than what the environment around me suggested I should do. The direction that I am traveling in is ultimately and very unlikely going to take to a place where I would be very happy.

But these years have not been spent in vain. They have been busy teaching me just how much the traditional path does not correlate to my true passions… in this way my past two years really helped me.It really helped me to figure out what I want to do and really now I started enjoying both my work and at the same time doing something which I always wanted to do. By doing things that I like to do may be I am diverting from my present life quite a bit in fact it is somewhat like living my present life and future life at same time.

But these are only the part-time solutions that I could find out to make myself happy and I don’t think so in the long run I would be happy by doing things this way. In doing things the same way, I know that I can’t reach much further but at the same time I need a strong base to start of my life on a fresh note.

So,the option that I am left with is stopping things that I am doing now. This kind of transformation would be a remarkable one. It’s the daunting personal challenge that I can make but at same time it may turn out to be a painful decision. But that's how lyf is for me ,to travel on an un-traveled path that I believe will lead to the doorstep of my dreams. To do just that though, takes hope, and risk, and love. But beyond all of that, it takes unrestricted courage.

So do I have courage to pull my own leg???? Only time will answer this question.

Stop Waiting!!!!

I do have this bad habit of postponing (or) waiting for right time to start new activity......By this, I never knew that I was the one who was stopping myself to progress, I was the one who was pausing my own life.....Down the line all these years Still I have not found perfect time to kick off....

Now I have realized that is there is no such time called perfect time.....It doesn't exist at all....It's just a Way of making excuse, creating obstacles that aren't actually there......Even now if I don't think of making any move may be I would be forever waiting for and to be precise enough I would be stagnant

And, Friends those who are thinking to stop Drinking, Smoking,Starting new activity etc.. after a week,month or whatever the reason may be ...Please STOP WAITING ! and try to do it now coz there doesn't exists anything called PERFECT TIME

HAPpyzZZZZ

I was just wondering yest y do i get so xcited or feel so happy now a days about things which are relatively not that significant or hapenning in one's life on a day to day basis.....and even more interesting thing about this is I do enjoy it more when I share it with others.......

Two questions always arise from this is that
1) Do I know how to be happy with the small things that happen around me or is it that i never xperienced the bigger things or toughest part of life yet????
(AND)
2) Is it that rest of them know but they don't try to xpress or Is it that they are never happy with what they have got ?

I really don't know the answers for the above ......

In fact the thing that made be think about all this is about my weight loss I am into 89 now and it's been quite an achievement to reach from 101 to 89 ;) in 4 months .......Even When I was writing this 2 lines It made me feel so happy :P

First Blog Post

So through this I have established myself online....have been thinking for long time now to start different phase of life or infact re-boot my life which has been running all these yrs in a similar sort of way and blogging is the first step of my boot process ........infact in my school days i used to write diary but since I lost it stopped writing and it took me 8 yrs now again to start.....May be Restarting life is a bit difficult thing to do (atleast for me) since it took me all these yrs to do it again ........Finally, dont expect any sort of information or technical things from this blog :)